Now, with the Most Honourable Bro Gad supposed to tell us something about the reopening of entertainment, something very troubling (at least for me) popped up in my mind.

For the law-abiding people who haven’t been partying under the quiet, unnu memba how fi dance? It might sound quite trivial, but hear me out. For some people, the only ‘exercise’ they got was when they went out to these parties. Whether it was dancehall, soca or oldies sessions, some people only moved their hips and shook their legs when the music is pumping in an outdoor venue. They don’t even ‘get on bad’ when they’re listening to the radio or following one of the FAME Frequency parties online while at their homes.

Some people are not social butterflies who go everywhere, so they only attend two or three parties a year. Then again, some people have some very time-consuming jobs. So parties are an absolute luxury and pretty much reserved for when they are on vacation. At the very least, any excursion has to be planned long in advance. So dem people deh body seize up.

There is also the possibility that some people have not been trying to stay active while staying at home. Take yours truly, for instance. I’m pretty certain I’ve gained a pound (or five). And there are times when the old bones feel like they are creaking a little more than usual. It’s inactivity, plain and simple (I hope).

So it is highly likely that the waistlines of some individuals may be a little on the rusty side; WD-4O is highly recommended before you head back out to ‘shake your booty’. I completely envision a few ladies, especially, taking it low like the Spice-Shaggy-Sean Paul song Go Down Deh, and not being able to come back up. I figure that with all the COVID protocols that will inevitably have to be observed, there will be plenty of medical personnel anyway. They just might have more work to do than normal.

Okay, so physical issues aside. There is something else. With all the mental kung fu that some of us have been having to do just to stay sane, do we remember how you’re supposed to act at parties? Like, there is some etiquette when it comes to attending events, like how groups interact with each other? Can we even interact now? And how di curfew a go? ‘Cause 9 p.m. can’t work fi some people.

And by the way, how the clothes ting a go? I figure some a di good clothes dem might ‘dry rotten’ by now. Can you imagine how much cobweb and dust tek up some designer jeans ‘cause dem nah wear? So that a more expense now fi some people. Just buy a one shirt and wear any sneakers you have.

Of course, for those who were always attending illegal events and just weren’t caught, all of this ‘advice’ is really not for you. Fi unno bread butter two side. The rest of us are just going to have to catch up. Over to you, Bro Gad.

Link me at daviot.kelly@gleanerjm.com.